Raising Cain (eBook)

Ph.D. Dan Kindlon, PhD Michael Thompson (Autoren)

eBook Download: EPUB

2009 | 1. Auflage
320 Seiten
Random House Publishing Group (Verlag)
978-0-307-56922-6 (ISBN)

Infos

The stunning success of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher's landmark book, showed a true and pressing need to address the emotional lives of girls. Now, finally, here is the book that answers our equally timely and critical need to understand our boys.

In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country's leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting--sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of young boys at high risk for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and loneliness. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that 'cool' equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of 'mother blame,' 'boy biology,' and 'testosterone,' Kindlon and Thompson shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive--the emotional miseducation of boys.

Through moving case studies and cutting-edge research, Raising Cain paints a portrait of boys systematically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the peer 'culture of cruelty'--boys who receive little encouragement to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The good news is that this doesn't have to happen. There is much we can do to prevent it.

Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy--giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth.

Powerfully written and deeply felt, Raising Cain will forever change the way we see our sons and will transform the way we help them to become happy and fulfilled young men.

From the Hardcover edition.

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The stunning success of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher’s landmark book, showed a true and pressing need to address the emotional lives of girls. Now, finally, here is the book that answers our equally timely and critical need to understand our boys.In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country’s leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting—sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of young boys at high risk for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and loneliness. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they’re not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that “cool” equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of “mother blame,” “boy biology,” and "e;testosterone,” Kindlon and Thompson shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive—the emotional miseducation of boys.Through moving case studies and cutting-edge research, Raising Cain paints a portrait of boys systematically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the peer “culture of cruelty”—boys who receive little encouragement to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The good news is that this doesn't have to happen. There is much we can do to prevent it. Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy—giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth.Powerfully written and deeply felt, Raising Cain will forever change the way we see our sons and will transform the way we help them to become happy and fulfilled young men.

Textauszug

The Road Not TakenTurning Boys Away from Their Inner Life A young man is so strong, so mad, so certain, and so lost. He has everything and he is able to use nothing.' --Thomas Wolfe, Of Time and the River Luke, thirteen, pauses at the office door, undecided whether to take his baseball cap off or leave it alone, he pulls it off and steps in the room--the school psychologist's office. 'Come on in, Luke. Have a seat in the big chair.' An oversized, ancient, leathery brown Naugahyde chair dwarfs all but the largest athletes at this all-boy school. Some boys sink deep into the chair as if hoping to distance themselves from scrutiny, others sit stiffly on its edge, clearly uncomfortable with the unnerving assignment to look inward. In our work with boys at schools and in private practice, we see this body language all the time. Boys approach their emotionswith much the same awkwardness, alternately sinking into the depths or sitting stiffly on the edge of feelings threaten to overwhelm them. Luke's a 'good kid.' He plays drums in the school band and makes fair grades, though they've dropped lately. At school he's not part of the popular clique, but he does have friends. He's not in the jock crowd and mostly steers clear of them. So what brings him here? In the past few months Luke has grown increadingly sarcastic and sullen, and especially argumentative with his father. A few evenings ago, concerned about his grades, his parents turned down his request to participate in an optional after-school activity. Luke flew into a rage. Stormed off to his room. Slammed doors. Kicked a hole in his bedroom wall. His mother was stunned by the violent outburst, his father was livid, but they left him alone to cool off. The next morning Dad left early for work, Luke had a headache and took a sick day off from school, and his mother called the school to see if anyone there might know what's troubling him. Luke's advisor suggested the counseling visit. Now here we sit, and Luke is bothe nervous and angry at the prospect of talking about any of this, but most especially about his feelings. He has pushed himself back and sideways into the chair as far as he can go. His KEEP OUT sign is clearly posted. The declining grades and the escalating hostility at home--especially the explosive outburst--are red flags of concern to everyone but Luke. 'I'm fine,' he says defiantly, while his eyes flash with anger at having been sent here at all. As we talk, the questions cruise the perimeter of his life: academics, music, friendships, family. His answers are curt, cautious,a nd begrudging, puncuated with shrugs and a steely expression intended to keep the conversation from moving any closer than that outer edge. He doesn't have an explanation for his recent behavior, and although he reluctantly agrees that talking about feelings might help, he shies away from it. 'I just need to work harder,' he syas, shifting the focus to his grades.'I don't need help. I'm not crazy,' he says. 'My parents are the ones with the problem.' But we're here to talk about Luke's feelings. He offers a candid, perfunctory assessment of home and school life: His eight-year-old sister is an idiot. His older brother is a jerk. His father, a businessman, isn't around much--gone early, home late most days. His mother treats hime like a five-year-old and pisses him off with all her questions. And although he has friends and likes a few of his teachers, for the most part, school sucks. That about covers it. 'About the other night. The rage and that hole in the bedroom wall. You must have been prety mad to do...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 5.8.2009
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Familie / Erziehung
• Themenwelt: Geisteswissenschaften ► Psychologie ► Allgemeine Psychologie
• Themenwelt: Recht / Steuern ► Öffentliches Recht
• Themenwelt: Technik
• ISBN-10: 0-307-56922-5 / 0307569225
• ISBN-13: 978-0-307-56922-6 / 9780307569226