Your REAL Life (eBook)

Get Authentic, Be Resilient & Make It Count

Nathan Andres (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2023 | 1. Auflage
268 Seiten
Lioncrest Publishing (Verlag)
978-1-5445-4123-5 (ISBN)

Infos

Life is full of adversity and change. What enables us to endure events like 9/11 or record-breaking natural disasters? Overcome discrimination and loss? Or even simply recover from common daily inconveniences? Nathan Andres has ridden life's roller-coaster and is often asked the secret to his resiliency. After years of research, education, practice, and reflection, he's not only found the answer, but turned it into a formula anyone can use. Your REAL Life introduces the REAL model, a practical framework for coaching yourself through adversity of any scale. Using the anchors of Reality, Energy, Authenticity, and Love, Nathan breaks down the key ingredient to beating anything life throws at you: authentic resilience. Grounded with psychology and basic neuroscience as well as best practices in the coaching field, Your Real Life teaches you everything you need to know to build authentic resilience. When you get REAL, you don't just bounce back from hardship-you bounce beyond it.

Textauszug

Introduction

It was one of those days; another manic weekday dictated by Murphy’s Law, where everything that can go wrong does. I woke up to realize that the dreaded drip drip drip sound of my kitchen sink leaking ferociously wasn’t only a product of the dream I’d been having. On the way to investigate the source of the panic-inducing noise, I discovered our dog had thrown up all over the apartment during the night. I cleaned it, cleaned the kitchen floor, and then went to clean myself—but the shower head burst off the wall from the pressure that had been building up since a construction crew had been messing with the building’s water the day before. Just what I needed before heading to work. I tried to calm down as I switched to the rain showerhead and used that to clean up instead. It almost worked, until I finished brushing my teeth only to find the bathroom sink was clogged. Now I had to clean that mess, finish up in a different sink, get dressed, and feed my dogs—I would definitely be late to work.

But all of that paled in comparison to the cherry on the rotten cake, the reason I’d had to deal with the mess and drama on my own: the country in which I was living doesn’t recognize gay marriage and had just torn my nontraditional family unit apart by forcing my husband to leave the country and take up residence elsewhere (more on that later). Honestly, it felt appropriate that when I ran home from work to meet the plumber that afternoon, I found that our other dog had pooped on the rug. Sometimes, life kicks you while you’re down…and plays out like some made-for-TV movie. Often, in the moment of experiencing adversity, the lines of reality blur and your brain can make you feel like you’re outside of yourself, watching the events play out as if on a screen.

Adversities come in all shapes and sizes, occasionally more than one at a time. We all meet seemingly insurmountable obstacles in the way of our happiness and personal or professional success. Adversity can be a difficult or unpleasant situation (as simple as spilling hot coffee or running late for a meeting) or it can become a state of serious and continued difficulty (for example, feeling stuck in an unhealthy relationship). Further, various adversities intersect with one another. They can wreak havoc on our lives—especially when they remain unaddressed. When we don’t face and respond productively to adversity, it disrupts not only our ability to succeed in our careers and relationships, but also our ability to know ourselves, find well-being, and experience joy.

When that happens, do you grin and bear it, or do you fight like hell? Fight like hell, right?! Okay, but how?

That’s the point where people stall. After all, it’s not easy to figure out how to be resilient. We hear all the time that when you fall down, you should just stand back up and dust yourself off. That’s easier said than done. So I’ve dedicated my coaching career to figuring it out.

Over the years, I have coached people who came to me with a variety of adversities they wanted to overcome. Most frequently, people feel stuck. They don’t know how to break through career challenges or relationship woes. Sometimes they feel unclear about what their next step in life should be. Many times they are searching for the deeper soul or “what makes them tick” out of a desire to steer their own ship toward a life with purpose and authenticity.

Often, people don’t know their purpose. Sometimes, they don’t yet truly know themselves. They want success, but more than that, they want joyful lives with deeper meaning. Their issues not only stem from adversity, but then become forms of adversity themselves.

Through thousands of hours of working with clients and employees, navigating my own collection of adversities, poring over research papers and scientific studies, and of course via professional and clinical training, I have developed the REAL model. It can be tailored to each individual, and it has been proven to help clients overcome adversities large and small, and live more joyful and fulfilling lives. The end goal of this model is to develop my version of authentic resilience. This book is a blueprint to help you become a more resilient person by learning to lead yourself from the power of authentic resilience.

Every adversity large or small that we experience anywhere in our everyday lives will remain with us, affecting our behavior and future life experiences. But when we have authentic resilience—which we gain by coaching ourselves through the REAL model—we can bounce back from adversity. In fact, it’s more accurate to say we bounce beyond adversity. We diminish its negative effects, grow from it instead, and thrive in our own lives.

What Is Authentic Resilience?

In short, I’m talking about the combination of being authentic and resilient: being self-driven to evolve and learn, so as not to make the same mistakes, in a way that’s based on genuine self-awareness of how you present yourself to the world. If adversity is an experience that triggers the brain to perceive a threat, then resilience is that which helps us get over the threat. Therefore, most people focus simply on building resiliency. But there is no cookie-cutter form of resiliency. Resilience will be different for every person. Your resilience skills are unique to you, based on who you are, the adversities you’ve faced (and how you respond to them), and the life’s purpose that drives you. In other words, each person’s resilience will be an authentic and individualized set of skills designed to overcome life’s obstacles.

How you cope, react, and recover is different from how other people do. As we grow into adulthood, and our brains and bodies mature, we collect millions of experiences that shape how we respond to adverse situations—including whether or not we even choose to. How you responded to getting your first bad grade in school was different from how I responded, just as we certainly responded differently to the first time we were each rejected by a paramour. In fact, modern psychology is built around the individualism of our responses to life. How you react to and (hopefully) recover from challenges in life leaves fingerprints on you. Part of the magic of mastering self-identity is uncovering these fingerprints.

This is also part of how we build authentic resilience. To be truly resilient in life, you need to have a strong understanding of who you are on a deep and authentic level. The only way to bounce beyond adversity is by developing authentic resilience. This book will teach you how to build and master your own unique skills that will be an authentic reflection of you.

A Snapshot of the REAL Model

The REAL self-coaching model is built on scientific and psychological research, and has a proven track record of helping clients who’ve come to me for personal and professional development. It also worked in my life. It will help you too.

Reality

The first step in getting REAL requires you to face Reality. In order to develop authentic resilience, you first need to understand how you typically respond to adversity and prepare yourself to change your habits.

I’ll show you how to start by choosing to “Face It”: acknowledge an adverse event you’re currently facing and then ultimately accept that event (as well as adversity in general). Resilient people know how to move from acknowledgment to acceptance quickly.

Then, I’ll tell you how to “Control It”: adopt a growth mindset, understand your agency, and take control of the adverse event and how you will respond to it (e.g., by looking for the “advertunity”).

Finally, you’ll learn how to “Plan It & Take Action”: identify obstacles that are making it difficult to respond to the adversity, and learn how to problem-solve around them, then go do it! The knowledge isn’t helpful if you don’t act on it, which I help you prepare for.

Energy

The second step in getting REAL is all about understanding and managing energy. Once you understand energy regulation, how to recover energy, and where to focus it, you will be able to respond instead of react to adversity by harnessing and allocating resources more wisely.

First, I want you to “Understand Your Energy Regulation”: learn about the different energetic domains (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual), identify your triggers that lead you to waste energy, and dismantle your energy habits so you can consciously regulate your energy use instead.

Then, you’re ready to learn how to “Recover Your Energy”: stop doing things that deplete you and start doing things that charge you up (including gratitude, self-care, and other interventions, such as yoga or journaling).

Finally, I’ll help you think about how to “Use Your Energy”: actively choose where to spend your energy; make sure that spent energy “counts” and is serving you; and remember to save some energy...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 31.5.2023
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Beruf / Finanzen / Recht / Wirtschaft
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Lebenshilfe / Lebensführung
• Schlagworte: authenticity beyond hardship self-coaching coping • change authentic psychology coaching formula love • How to build resilience • neuroscience best practice personal growth mindset • overcome adversity books • recovery endurance anchors reality energy bounce • self-care books
• ISBN-10: 1-5445-4123-6 / 1544541236
• ISBN-13: 978-1-5445-4123-5 / 9781544541235