Would You Date You? (eBook)

Anthony Buono (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2023 | 1. Auflage
160 Seiten
Servant (Verlag)
978-1-63582-484-1 (ISBN)

Infos

Would You Date You? asks a pointed question, and then goes on to provide honest answers. Many singles have an unrealistic approach to dating, feeling shock and dismay when someone to whom they are attracted is not interested in them. Sadly, it never dawns on them that they might be the problem. Anthony Buono challenges his readers to look closely at themselves to discover areas that might be preventing them from having successful relationships. He explains the importance of self-knowledge in becoming comfortable with who we are meant to be, because anything less cannot be sustained over a lifetime.

Textauszug

CHAPTER ONE

Become Heavenly

BEFORE WE CAN CONSIDER CERTAIN qualities to develop for the sake of our future spouse, let us first consider our end goal, which is heaven.

Ultimately, we are called to be saints by God and live with Him forever in heaven. Anything we become in this world contributes to this ultimate goal. We are destined to become resurrected and glorious sons and daughters of God. We are bound for heaven during this life, and we are meant to live accordingly.

As people in the world, we are busy about the things and cares of this world. It is all too easy to experience a disconnect from the spiritual life and anything beyond the here and now. As we date and eventually marry, we are distracted by many concerns regarding life with this other person. We too easily lose sight of heaven, our end goal.

One of the most significant ways we can become disconnected is when it comes to understanding the role our bodies play in getting us to heaven, and the impact of that role in dating, love, and marriage.

There is a relationship between our bodily life here on earth and our heavenly life to come. Our bodies play an important role in our getting to heaven (or hell, for that matter), and that same body will be with us throughout eternity.

Thoughts on Heaven

It might sound strange, but spending time reflecting on heaven can help singles prepare for their future marriage.

Heaven is a difficult place to comprehend. As believers, we know that if we die in a state of grace, we will go to heaven. But most of us have no idea of what we will be doing there, if we’ve even thought about it at all. I guess it is enough for us to do what we need to do to get there, and worry about the rest later! However, you and I need to realize that we will still be human beings in heaven. But who will we really be when we get there?

We know that we will be happy with God, and we will have new bodies. There will be no more pain, and we will not have to deal with any of our imperfections and faults any longer. But fundamentally, we will be persons in heaven, just as we are on earth. The reality that you are a person sets you apart from the fact of your human nature, which is collectively shared with the whole human race. And as baptized Christians, we also share the divine nature of Christ.

No two persons are the same. A person does not share his or her personhood with any other person. You are uniquely yourself. If you are a person, that means you are able to act, and you are responsible for your actions. God does not judge us collectively. He judges each person individually, based on their individual motives which can only be known to Him.

The first thing to realize about heaven is that who we will be there will be the result of our actions here on earth. To be in heaven means that our actions resulted in dying in the state of grace (God’s love). But what kind of person will you be in heaven? And why should that matter to you today?

Becoming a Real Person

By nature, we are good because we are created by God. But the person we are to become is only a potential at the time of birth. Being human and becoming a person are not the same things. By birth, we are all human beings. However, becoming a whole person is a process. A baby is born with the potential of becoming a whole person. A baby is a person, but with a long way to go to be able to express full personhood. This is what makes the childhood years the development years. A seven-year-old is a little person and has developed a personality. Yet a seven-year-old is not fully a person. An eighteen-year-old is considered an adult, yet at eighteen is still not fully a person. Those in their forties can think back to when they were eighteen and realize they hardly recognize that person because they have come such a long way since then. Yet, even then, they still have further to go before they develop their full personhood.

Do you see where I am going with this? The fact is, we never stop becoming; therefore, we are always working toward our fullest potential as the person we are called to be until the day we die. To fully be a person means that we are in perfect harmony with God’s plan for us. Falling short of that at any level and at any time means that we are less of a person. We make strides, and we have setbacks. Who we are is something that comes with the practice of living. This practice of living is what shapes us. Habits, attitudes, and personality traits are developed and influence how we act. Good habits are called virtues, and bad habits are called vices. How we act defines who we are.

Are we a virtuous person or a vicious person, or something in between? How do we know? How do others know? Our actions tell others, and ourselves, who we really are. What we do affects others, so we want to make sure that our decisions reflect who we are inside. Everyone sins, so it cannot be just the action itself that judges us. How we recover from a sin or a failure is part of the story too.

Consistency and frequency also play a role. If you lose patience from time to time, that does not mean you are an impatient person. It takes time to discover the consistencies of a person. But it is these consistencies displayed on the outside through your actions that are the best evidence of who you are as a person.

Part of what makes you human is your fragility, your ability to fail. Your personhood is your connection to God, and all that is good. To be a bad person is to be less of a person. In fact, every bad action diminishes our personhood and causes us to become more like an animal. The dignity of every person is our goodness, our God-ness.

No person is without moments of failure. But a well-formed person will feel guilt and sorrow for wrongdoing, seek forgiveness, and make up for the wrongdoing, if possible. This person thus becomes an even better person.

It is important to realize that when you date another person, you bring all of who you are into the relationship; you are always developing into the whole person you are called to be. Working on yourself is continuous if you seek to be of value to someone else.

Expect to Be a Good Person

The person you are dating expects the best of you. He or she expects you be a good person. (Do you know anyone who seeks a serious relationship with someone they consider to be a bad person?) But how do you live up to that expectation? How do you become the good person you are meant to be?

First of all, none of us is born evil. We all reflect the image and likeness of God, the Creator. However, because sin entered the world through our first parents, evil exists. Evil is goodness gone wrong. Every person has the potential to be good, even when they choose to do something evil. Good and evil have to do with actions of thought and of deed. When we do something evil, it affects the person we were created to be. However, as long as we are alive in this world, there is always hope in God’s grace, which can overcome any evil.

Although we are innocent babies at birth, we are all sinners. The Catholic Church teaches that we cannot commit a sin until the age of reason (typically around seven years of age), because sin is related to motives and circumstances. A developing child has not yet reached the point of being able to decide with full reason. During those first seven years, the parents’ teachings, the family’s influence, and all experiences of that child shape the person that really starts to exist.

It is worth stressing the point here that other people shape us. Who we become does not happen in spite of other people, but rather because of them. It is important to realize that every person’s interaction with a child has an effect on the person that child will become. Who they are is a result of the many people that help to shape their life.

This is why parents are exceptionally important people. They are the primary builders of their children’s personalities. Everyone the parents allow to come into contact with a child contributes as well. Bad parents will establish bad qualities in their children. It is important to become a good person in order to be a good parent. We train our children to have good habits so that they will become people that are good, and do good for others, for society, for God, and for themselves. Neglecting to help a child develop good habits detracts from their personhood. Bad habits and bad character traits are the result. A person of bad character is not merely acting badly, they are failing to grow better as a person. You are created to become the best you possible, one who acts in ways that benefit others and God.

Socializing with other human beings is an inescapable aspect of developing into a person. Some parents, motivated by concern that their children might be badly influenced, overly shelter them. The risk of undersocialization, however, can be far greater for children than the risk that they might witness something their parent preferred they not witness. The person they become can be socially crippled, lacking the skills that are necessary to function and succeed. In the same way, a child that is allowed to spend excessive time involved with antisocial activities (e.g., computer and video games, excessive phone use, headphones in their ears, or other isolating activities) can turn out the same way. This produces antisocial and underdeveloped persons (immature adults), who may tend to remain adolescent in their behavior.

These immature, albeit adult, persons are then sent out into...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 24.1.2023
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Lebenshilfe / Lebensführung
• ISBN-10: 1-63582-484-2 / 1635824842
• ISBN-13: 978-1-63582-484-1 / 9781635824841