He Cheated, She Cheated, We Cheated
McFarland & Co Inc (Verlag)
978-1-4766-7577-0 (ISBN)
Infidelity raises questions: Why do women stay with a cheater? Why do women cheat? Why do women become "the Other Woman"? How do past experiences with infidelity impact future relationships?
Drawing on interviews with U.S. women of various ages, racial backgrounds, educational attainments, and sexual orientations, this insightful study examines their personal experiences of being cheated on, cheating, being the Other Woman, or some combination of the three. Always engaging and equal parts uplifting and dispiriting, their narratives range from all-too-familiar stories to unconventional perspectives on love, life, and interpersonal communication.
Ebony A. Utley, Ph.D. is a professor of communication studies at California State University–Long Beach. As an entrepreneur, she develops and consults on technologies to improve romantic relationships. She is also a certified yoga instructor who believes in the power of yoga to help women heal from trauma and infidelity.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Section One: I Was the Last to Know That My Partner Cheated on Me
Danielle: “It took several fights for him to understand the terrible position that he put me in.”
Janet: “You know about me and you’re okay with him having sex with both of us?”
Kathy: “When you’re married and you love someone you do not stop loving them because you find out today what they did yesterday.”
Willa: “I’ve had more STDs than Carter’s got pills and I have been with no one other than him.”
Stacey: “I always thought he would change, but being with him changed me.”
India: “A person who constantly accuses you is reflecting their guilt.”
Dee: “I can’t be a wife that allows my husband to openly have an affair.”
delete• deleteUnderstanding Public Infidelity Betrayal
Section Two: I Experienced “Infidelity Plus”
Elizabeth: “Affairs don’t happen to nice middle-class Jewish girls!”
Sam: “It was very frustrating to feel like I had paid for the social activities that led to her cheating on me.”
Teah: “He was playing Russian roulette with his health and mine.”
CeCe: “He had no control. He threw away everything for sex.”
Faye: “I was already suffering from his cheating, so I couldn’t imagine how bad it would be if I were cheating too.”
Marie: “I became a mad woman on this hell-bent quest to find out everything.”
Forsythia: “His violation of trust hindered my ability to trust my world.”
Seville: “As soon as I left, he was trying to get on top of her.”
Dot: “I fucked up my whole life over a person.”
delete• deleteUnderstanding “Infidelity Plus”
Section Three: I Cheated on My Partner
Frances: “I know it’s weird to say that I was in love with her and slept with someone else at the same time.”
Assata: “But I knew after I cheated on him that we would have to break up because I’m not really a cheater like that.”
Sue: “Once my husband caught me cheating, all of these complaints came out and there was no taking them back.”
Evelyn: “Right person, wrong time.”
Nicole: “Once you have an affair people think of you as the kind of person that can have an affair.”
Taj: “A part of me wanted to be caught so that it would force my husband to deal with our issues.”
Sofia: “I wish I felt guilty about how good that sex felt.”
Rosa: “To be honest, I’m not sure who my son’s father is.”
Jennifer: “There’s something about that feeling of sleeping with someone new that I just can’t seem to recreate in any other aspect
of my life.”
Ayn: “It was the craziest four months sleeping with the both of them without either of them knowing.”
Fiona: “When I had a good closeness with a guy, I had sex with him just to keep him around.”
Tracy: “I was trying my best to not cheat on this boyfriend, but there’s something about my personality that just loves to push boundaries.”
Cree: “That convention was a complete vacation from my life. I didn’t want it to stop.”
delete• deleteUnderstanding the Unfaithful
Section Four: I Was the Other Woman
Sasha: “It started with explicit text messaging that detailed all of the things that he wanted to do to me.”
Lita: “I think regret is a stupid emotion, so I never regret the things that I have done.”
Elle: “Did I just accidentally become someone’s mistress?”
Barbara: “I knew that playing hard to get made him want me more.”
Brenda: “I don’t like how I feel about what I’m doing to her.”
Sadie: “I think he wanted me to be envious of his wife’s life.”
Raven: “If we’re going to do this, it’s only your wife and me.”
Xeena: “I was doing my best friend.”
Sheva: “If all of us are in the same bed together, everybody needs to know what’s going on.”
Denise: “If you are in so many different relationships with people who aren’t yours to be in a relationship with, it’s never
going to work.”
Ferris: “We often have sex in the same bed that they sleep in.”
Adriana: “Even now as I allow myself to rehash the memories of having sex with him, I still feel that throbbing and aching
need for him.”
Tru: “If someone came to me with a crust of bread, I would’ve treated it like a gourmet meal.”
delete• deleteUnderstanding the Other Woman
Section Five: We Cheated on Each Other; It’s Complicated
Ishtar: “My husband confessed that he had a lot of fantasies about me being with other men.”
Julie: “You can’t have a girlfriend and a wife.”
Anne: “Basically, we had an open marriage, I just didn’t know it.”
Melanie: “I want to try to love myself more so that I’m strong enough to leave him.”
Florence: “Being unfaithful helped me get free.”
Symone: “Overall, I was as faithful as I could be.”
Lindsay: “Two weeks after that, we told our spouses what we had done, left our marriages, and have been together ever since.”
Jane: “We each had an affair that we talked about with each other.”
delete• deleteUnderstanding “It’s Complicated” Infidelity
Section Six: I’ve Experienced Multiple Aspects of Infidelity
in Multiple Relationships
Sandra: “I knew logically in my mind that it was absurd to be talking to my girlfriend’s lover.”
Thumbalina: “It wasn’t as hard as I thought to be honest with myself about myself.”
Antoinette: “Every time a man professed his love for me, it turned out to be a lie.”
Coco: “Sex is sex. I just liked the pleasure of it. You’re not supposed to feel bad about it.”
Ava: “I’ve been unfaithful due to the fact that I feel like it’s already going to get done to me.”
Ebony: “There was a lot of pain in my childhood and I’ve indulged in a lot of personal pleasures to hide that pain.”
Sherry: “He made sure no other man would ever want me again.”
delete• deleteUnderstanding Multiple Experiences with Infidelity
Conclusion: Infidelity’s Secrets
Section Notes
Bibliography
Online Resources
Index
| Erscheinungsdatum | 03.08.2019 |
|---|---|
| Zusatzinfo | notes, bibliography, index |
| Verlagsort | Jefferson, NC |
| Sprache | englisch |
| Maße | 152 x 229 mm |
| Gewicht | 358 g |
| Themenwelt | Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Partnerschaft / Sexualität |
| Sozialwissenschaften ► Soziologie ► Allgemeine Soziologie | |
| Sozialwissenschaften ► Soziologie ► Gender Studies | |
| ISBN-10 | 1-4766-7577-5 / 1476675775 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1-4766-7577-0 / 9781476675770 |
| Zustand | Neuware |
| Haben Sie eine Frage zum Produkt? |
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