Tug of War (eBook)

A JudgeIs Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles, and the Bitter Realities of Family Court

Harvey Brownstone (Autor)

eBook Download: PDF

2009 | 1. Auflage
200 Seiten
ECW Press (Verlag)
978-1-55490-870-7 (ISBN)

Infos

Explaining complex family law concepts and procedures in a jargon-free style, this resource includes detailed information on how family court works, offers easily understandable case examples, and describes alternatives to litigation that are designed to help prevent families with children from entering the legal system to resolve disputes. Exploring subjects that apply to all parties involved in resolving separation, divorce, and custody conflicts—judges, lawyers, mediators, parenting coaches, psychologists, family counselors, and social workers—this reference demystifies the role of lawyers and judges, debunks the myth that parents can represent themselves in court, and examines each parent's responsibility to ensure that post-separation conflicts are resolved with minimal emotional stress to children.

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Tug of War is the first book of its kind. Written by a sitting family court judge in layman s language, it demystifies complex family law concepts and procedures, clearly explains how family court works, and gives parents essential alternatives to resolve their own custody battles and keep their kids out of the often damaging court system. Breakup rates in North America are skyrocketing. Recent statistics say 45% of marriages end in divorce, and at the centre are countless children, thrust by their families into a complex and seemingly impermeable family court

Textauszug

CHAPTER ONEDO YOU KNOWWHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO? AFTER MORE THAN FOURTEEN YEARS OF PRESIDING IN FAMILY COURT, ONE QUESTION HAS NEVER CEASED TO AMAZE ME: how can two parents who love their child allow a total stranger to makecrucial decisions about their child's living arrangements, health, education, extracurricular activities, vacation time, and degree of contact with each parent? This question becomes even more mind-boggling when one considers that the stranger making the decisions is a judge, whose formal training is in the law, not in family relations, child development, social work, or psychology. Now add the fact that, because of heavy caseloads and crowded dockets, most judges have to make numerous child custody, access, matrimonial property, and support decisions every day on the basis of incomplete, subjective, and highly emotional written evidence (called affidavits), with virtually no time to get to know the parents and no opportunity to meet the child whose life is being so profoundly affected. What person in their right mind would advocate for this method of resolving parental conflicts flowing from family breakdown? These are some of the questions that family court judges agonize over. Some say the answers are complicated and have much to do with social conditioning, economic class, levels of education, sophistication, familiarity with communityresources, and even culture. I say the answers are simple. The institution of marriage has not been a great success in North America. The United States has the highest divorce rate in the western world, followed by the United Kingdom and Canada.1Moreover, divorce statistics do not take into account couples who lived incommon-law (unmarried) relationships and broke up. There is no reliable way to track the breakup rate for those couples, but you can be sure that it is at least as high as the divorce rate. There are also many thousands of couples who never lived together, but had a casual relationship resulting in the birth of a child. Family courts are heavily populated with such couples, but we have no way of knowing their numbers in society at large. We do know that the vast majority of couples who break up manage to settle their affairs, including the custody and access arrangements for their children, without ever setting foot in a courtroom. The most common way to achieve this is by separation agreement or some other form of domestic contract (see Chapter 12). However, for the many couples unable to reach agreements, the familycourt becomes the place of first and last resort. What we judges see in family court is beyond belief and certainly more dramatic and gut-wrenching than any television show or movie. If you don't believe me, visit any family courtroom in any town and chances are you'll see real-life examples of what I will describe in this book. As any family law lawyer, judge, or litigant will tell you, family court litigation is expensive, time-consuming, unpredictable, and highly stressful. The level of hostility and anger between parents involved in high-conflict custody disputes is often so toxic that it isalmost palpable. I have dealt with thousands of couples whose bitterness toward each other coloured every aspect of the proceedings and completely diverted the focus away from the children and their needs. Frequently, I get the impression that such parents are in a struggle over power and control or are on a quest for vengeance and self-validation that has nothing to do with their children.

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 1.3.2009
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Partnerschaft / Sexualität
• Themenwelt: Recht / Steuern ► Allgemeines / Lexika
• Themenwelt: Recht / Steuern ► EU / Internationales Recht
• Themenwelt: Recht / Steuern ► Privatrecht / Bürgerliches Recht ► Familienrecht
• ISBN-10: 1-55490-870-1 / 1554908701
• ISBN-13: 978-1-55490-870-7 / 9781554908707