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RESET (eBook)

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2023 | 1. Auflage
304 Seiten
Elliott & Thompson (Verlag)
978-1-78396-757-5 (ISBN)

Lese- und Medienproben

RESET -  Elaine Kasket
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Join psychotherapist Dr Elaine Kasket as she takes us on a journey to rethink technology - and tune into what really matters. * Do your screentime reports make you wonder what you're missing out on in 'real' life? * Have you ever phubbed your partner on a date night? * Will your kids forgive your sharenting when they are old enough to understand digital consent? * Do you want to live a more balanced, present life? In a digital world full of distraction and noise, it can be so easy to lose sight of the relationships and people that really matter. Yet as this transformative book shows, it is entirely possible at every stage of our lives to make positive choices about who we connect with and how we share our world with the people we know, love and trust. Armed with Elaine's insights, you won't just think differently about technology. You'll feel happier and more empowered along the way. 'A critical reminder that, at every stage of life, we get to choose our relationship with technology.' Luke Burgis, author of Wanting 'Digital technologies aren't just transforming every area of life. They're transforming us... This book couldn't be more timely.' Catherine Mayer, author of Good Grief 'As a recent parent, this book really made me reevaluate the way I use technology around my family... One of the most thought-provoking books I've read this year.' Carl Öhman, author of The Afterlife of Data

ELAINE KASKET is a psychologist, speaker and writer, and an expert on the modern challenges and opportunities brought about by technology. Speaking about life, relationships, privacy and the power of big tech, Elaine appears frequently in the mainstream media as well as on podcasts and at major festivals. She is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts and an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society. She also serves as an Honorary Professor of Psychology at the University of Wolverhampton. All the Ghosts in the Machine: The Digital Afterlife of your Personal Data (2019) was her first book for a general audience. A reformed 'sharenter' when it comes to her own child, Elaine is a passionate believer in our right to control personal information and tell our stories.
Join psychotherapist Dr Elaine Kasket as she takes us on a journey to rethink technology - and tune into what really matters. * Do your screentime reports make you wonder what you're missing out on in 'real' life?* Have you ever phubbed your partner on a date night?* Will your kids forgive your sharenting when they are old enough to understand digital consent?* Do you want to live a more balanced, present life?In a digital world full of distraction and noise, it can be so easy to lose sight of the relationships and people that really matter. Yet as this transformative book shows, it is entirely possible at every stage of our lives to make positive choices about who we connect with and how we share our world with the people we know, love and trust. Armed with Elaine's insights, you won't just think differently about technology. You'll feel happier and more empowered along the way. 'A critical reminder that, at every stage of life, we get to choose our relationship with technology.' Luke Burgis, author of Wanting'Digital technologies aren't just transforming every area of life. They're transforming us This book couldn't be more timely.' Catherine Mayer, author of Good Grief'As a recent parent, this book really made me reevaluate the way I use technology around my family One of the most thought-provoking books I've read this year.' Carl Ohman, author of The Afterlife of Data

Introduction


At university, as virtually all budding psychologists do, I studied a man who’s consistently listed among the top ten most influential psychological theorists of all time: Erik Erikson.1 When we use phrases such as identity crisis, arrested development and midlife crisis, we’re channelling him. His predecessor Sigmund Freud said that what happens in early childhood decides who we become,2 but that didn’t ring true for Erikson – Freud’s theory of personality development was too inflexible, too deterministic, and didn’t capture how our socially embedded selves keep evolving as long as we exist.

So, from the 1950s until his death in 1994, Erikson developed an enduringly popular model of how biological, psychological and social forces continually shape our identities. If you search for ‘developmental stages’ online, you’ll likely find his model first. Breaking the life course into eight sequential phases, from birth to death, Erikson described how people encounter a key turning point at each stage. He expressed these as tensions between opposing forces, one positive and one negative: Trust vs Mistrust for infants; Identity vs Role Confusion for teenagers; Intimacy vs Isolation for young adulthood. An individual who’s able to adopt helpful virtues such as hope, purpose, competency and love can better navigate and resolve each crisis at it comes, enabling one to move forward with greater psychological health and a stronger sense of self.

I know this because I wrote an essay about Erikson for one of my first classes in psychology, over three decades ago. I can’t imagine how I did it, by which I mean I can barely remember how research was possible in the late 1980s. I can picture where I did it: the library, because there wasn’t any other option for accessing information. Card catalogues were my search engine, and my sense memories of them revolve around touch: the handles of the drawers, the striated texture under my fingertips of a horizontal stack of densely packed cards. The ones for the core texts that everyone read, like Erikson’s, were dirty with fingerprints, their top edges worn soft from frequent handling. Research articles were listed in minuscule font in huge tomes I could barely lift off the shelf.

When I recall my internet-free psychology studies, my mind jumps to other realms of life then, to how different things were. The World Wide Web was scarcely a twinkle in Tim Berners-Lee’s eye.3 Crossing Europe alone as an emergent adult, I visited the American Express office in each major city to ask if I had any post from home. My parents would have loved daily confirmation that I was alive, but it wasn’t practical. I was operating on 30 American dollars a day and didn’t have spare change for the payphone. I wrote travellers cheques and consulted atlases. When I lost the address and name of someone I’d met on my travels, I knew I’d never speak to them again. I shot several rolls of film, which seemed like a lot. I think I might still have the negatives somewhere, in a shoebox in a cupboard.

When I describe these wonders of the ancient world to my teenaged daughter, she looks at me as if I’m an elderly alien from another planet, and she’s not entirely wrong. Courtesy of the digital revolution, there’s a world of difference between Generation X and Generation Alpha.* But although she views me as clueless about how things are today, about that she’s not entirely right. Since my early days in a pre-digital learning environment, I have indeed kept Erikson’s twentieth-century ideas alive for my psychology students and psychotherapy clients, but I’ve also studied the intersection of psychology and twenty-first-century technology for two decades. My last major project, a book exploring what happens to our online personae after we die,4 really got me thinking. I realised I wasn’t just interested in how a person shapes their digital identity, which remains behind online when they go. I wanted to understand the other direction, too: how that online world and our use of digital devices shape identity.

In other words, I wanted to consider whether Erik Erikson’s map of the human lifespan still applies today, when so much has changed in the space of a generation.* I had both personal and professional experiences as motivation. Personally, I’m acutely aware of being in Erikson’s middle-adulthood stage, which he called Generativity vs Stagnation. Midlifers can either keep pursuing their ambitions and goals, or they can get stuck, and this normal crisis took on abnormal proportions for me during Covid-19, when all my work and most of my socialising shifted online. I wouldn’t have generated this book if I hadn’t been so keen to avoid the double stagnation threatened by turning fifty and pandemic lockdowns. At midlife, I find myself looking forwards and backwards, sandwiched between ageing parents and a teenager whose various phases of childhood I can still acutely recall.

Professionally, I’m struck by how much my clients’ dilemmas and troubles now relate to technology. People feel addicted to and fatigued by their screens. Parents stress over their children growing up digital. Romantic partners snoop through one another’s devices when they’re feeling insecure. Employees come to see me upset about productivity monitoring and metrics at work, or worried about artificial intelligence rendering their jobs obsolete. People have their identities and narratives upended through revelations unearthed via commercial genetic testing. The bereaved are traumatised by losing access to a loved one’s digital footprint, or by what they find out when they’ve accessed a bit too much.

Thinking about myself, my friends and family, and the clients in my clinic, I’ve realised that technology is the mediator and middleman in nearly every relationship we have in modern life, interwoven in the bonds between parents and kids, teachers and pupils, romantic partners, employees and bosses, midlifers and their elderly parents. We’re constantly making decisions about data and devices that affect not only us but other people – often our nearest and dearest. Ensnared by our digital habits, we can’t seem to wriggle free, and we fall into thinking and talking in particular ways about the technology that surrounds us – especially developments that disrupt, rattle or even frighten us.

In my roles as a psychotherapist and cyberpsychologist, I’m rarely asked how technology is affecting us, or how we’re using it. People use a different word: impacting. We speak of the digital world as an active, powerful, unstoppable force, and frame ourselves as the victims: passive, without choice or agency. ‘What is this technology doing to us?’ people ask. ‘What is it doing to our relationships, kids, sleep, communication, self-image, attention, grief, privacy?’

I contend that we’re not as helpless as we assume, that technology influences but does not determine us. When we believe that tech has a monolithic impact on us, that it has unilaterally shaped our experience and behaviours, we’re bound to feel powerless. In today’s world, we often feel we’ve lost control. But we consistently underestimate the power we still hold to shape the relationships we have with and through technology, and to intentionally adopt the kind of mindsets that will help us negotiate psychological and social challenges at every stage and to reclaim our lives.

In searching for a useful structure to help you do just that, I reconnected with my old friend Erik Erikson. The wisdom and insights of his life-stage model still speak to us today, and I’ll introduce you to them more fully in each chapter. Still relevant too – perhaps more than ever – is his concept of ego identity: the synthesis of your different ‘selves’ into one coherent identity over time, generating an ongoing, solid sense of self to help you navigate a world that is constantly changing around you.5 And that’s the thing: so much has changed since Erikson’s time that his ideas about identity development and thriving need a revamp for the digital age. That’s why I’ve created a whole new model – psychological, social and technological – to sit alongside his.

In this book, using this new roadmap, I hope to provoke and empower you.* I plan to disrupt commonly held assumptions and fears about technology’s impact, suggesting a different response to technology and its challenges at every age and stage: a response that connects you to your particular context and your own values. For each phase, from digital gestation to digital afterlife, I’ll explore how and why you might be pulled into using and thinking about tech in particular ways, even when those ways aren’t helping you. I’ll try to awaken your curiosity and awareness about why you use your devices the way you do. I’ll push you towards gaining greater clarity about how well those choices are working out. And, most importantly, I’ll invite you to commit to aligning your digital habits with the things that really matter to you, and the kind of life and relationships you want.

Digital life contains all the possibilities – good and bad, miraculous and disastrous, healthy and unhealthy. What you won’t get from this book is one-size-fits-all rules or guidance, because you are uniquely you, and tech is incredibly diverse and...

Erscheint lt. Verlag 30.7.2024
Verlagsort London
Sprache englisch
Themenwelt Sachbuch/Ratgeber Beruf / Finanzen / Recht / Wirtschaft Bewerbung / Karriere
Sachbuch/Ratgeber Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie Lebenshilfe / Lebensführung
Sachbuch/Ratgeber Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie Psychologie
Geisteswissenschaften Psychologie
Naturwissenschaften
Schlagworte AI • Atomic Habit • Autonomy • Big Tech • body keeps the score • Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read • Chimp Paradox • Choice • comfort book • Communication • cyber psychology • Data • Device • dirty laundry • ethics • Family • Friends • Gabor Mate • JAMES CLEAR • Johann Hari • Julie Smith • Kolk • Life • lost connections • mark manson • Matt Haig • Mental Health • Mobile Phone • personal information • Philippa Perry • Power • privacy • Prof Steve Peters • Psychology • Relationship • relationships • Richard Pink • ruby wax • security • Self-Help • selfhood • Social Media • stage of life • Stolen Focus • Stress • Subtle Art of Not Giving a fuck • Tech • Technology • Tools • why has nobody told me this before • Work • work life balance
ISBN-10 1-78396-757-9 / 1783967579
ISBN-13 978-1-78396-757-5 / 9781783967575
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