Chapter 1:
He knew me before I was born!
Psalms 139:13-18
13 For thou hast possessed my reins:
thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully
made: marvellous are thy works;
and that my soul knoweth right well.
15 My substance was not hid from thee,
when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the
lowest parts of the earth.
16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being
unperfect; and in thy book all my members were
written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as
yet there was none of them.
17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God!
how great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they are more in number than
the sand when I awake, I am still with thee.
In the current debate over conception, depending on our world view, life begins anywhere along the spectrum from the first drop of sperm swimming toward an ovum (egg), or when cells begin to multiply as an embryo, or grow to a certain stage as a fetus, and to yet others, you are not “officially human” until you appear from the birth canal, and only with your mother’s consent. Yes, I know the very definition of life is subject to great controversy and spiritual and political divide, even among church members.
I am not writing as a theologian, but as one who desires to plant seeds of faith that others will water. I do believe God’s Word is the frame of reference that clarifies any and all understanding of when we become, and who we are. In order to have divine connection, we must submit our will and understanding to the will of the Father, putting aside our own biases, preconceived notions, political imperatives, cultural mandates and folk tales, and for some: Straight up rebellion or oppositional defiance. It may sound cliché, but a lifelong challenge seems to be:
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths.
No matter how much we say or believe we trust God, the challenge is almost always the “leaning to our own understanding”. In other words “I trust God, BUT…”
And there lies the trip wire for most of the mental and spiritual blockages that hinder our ability to see a God’s eye view on the item in question.
Before we even consider the issue of abortion, is it a life, is it just a cluster of cells that becomes life, or is it just an option of choice or a matter of planning, convenience, or inconvenience? Do we get to choose the gender of the child, do we have the right to terminate a child we believe will have birth defects, or severe developmental delays? Is there such a thing as too many children? Some people are asked intimidating questions like “you have enough, don’t ya’? After this that’s it, right?” It can be said as a joke, but not really. Do we have the right to in vitro fertilization? Surrogate motherhood? Sperm donors? Removing extra eggs? Birth control? Plan B? Rhythm method? Why do some couples seem to take a deep breath and then proudly have a caravan with 10 children, while other couples may not have any? Some couples enjoy each other alone, while others struggle to conceive for years and go childless, barren, and in some cases feeling inadequate or a sense of failure?
Many people recount the love and sense of mutual support in large families, yet some families with large numbers of children struggle with abuse or neglect, or feeling overlooked, unwanted or unfavored.
I am aware I just opened up a can of worms or the proverbial Pandora’s box, but yet it must be opened, unpacked, and let the light of truth shine on everything that we believe, that is out of focus, off kilter, or out of alignment with the Word and will of God.
Here is an illustration from the Word of God that may be confusing to some. Let us look at a practice in the Old Testament that is frowned upon in the New Covenant:
Genesis 38:8-10
8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
Did you catch that? God was so angry with Onan wasting his seed (the potential life-giving sperm) that He wasted him (took him out!). Nowadays, this is something young people or couples may also take for granted: Even spilling seed is considered wicked in the sight of the Lord! Most people will say “that’s too extreme, my body my choice” but again, it’s all about perspective, and we do have an opportunity to learn, stretch and grow. This was the practice of continuing the lineage of a brother who died before having children.
By contrast, in the New Testament John admonishes Herod for marrying his brother’s wife because in the Spirit you are considered joined together as sister and brother (in-laws) and that association should not be violated, even in the loss of the bond of marriage through becoming a widow (see Mark 6:17-18).
In the act of intercourse, the sperm is not just among a mass of swimming cells in the midst of an ocean of fluids released during orgasm, but in the eyes of God, by the above example, if we engage in the act, we are to give life a chance: We are not to “spill seed” or “pull out” which may be considered to be withholding the fullness and fulfillment of the act of not only the height of pleasure (orgasm), but procreation, the continuation of a human life. Of course, God’s perfect plan is that intercourse be shared within the bond of holy matrimony, but we know that is not how all people have come to be.
We also know that in God’s Word, marital intercourse is not just for “birthin’ babies”, but it is a bond for a couple to enjoy each other for the rest of their lives:
1 Corinthians 7:2-4
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
So, clearly God’s Word is showing that healthy, mutually enjoyable sexual intimacy and pleasure are expected in a Godly marriage. Is it guaranteed to produce a child? Clearly it is not, but when we “lean to our own understanding” we find ways to circumvent God’s perfect plan to replenish the earth, as He originally commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. ( Genesis 1:27, 28)
And how precious are we, His Creation, that even our very members ( arms, legs, eyes, etc.) are known, identified and written in His book before they even appear, and while they are yet being formed! This describes the mystery of human development, hidden in our mother’s womb, as we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” as described in Psalm 139 above.
Against this backdrop, I will share with you my earliest memory, from my recollection as a 4-year-old, as told to my Mother: It was at this age that I experienced my most intense visitations of dreams, visions, and supernatural memory, that actually goes back as early as my Mother’s womb. Yes, you heard that right. My…mother’s….womb!
Before you start humming the theme to The Twilight Zone and spinning your index finger counterclockwise against your temple, or assume I have a tinfoil hat sitting in my closet, or some other derogatory response, as I said, please keep an open mind, and allow me the opportunity to share my story:
My Mom is no longer with us, but I can tell you of a truth: She was my sweetie pie; I adored her, and she adored me even more. I will share 3 of my earliest memories to the best of my recollection, to confirm that we are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made! God allowed me to retain these memories to counteract the spirit of doubt and disbelief, and the lies and trickery of the Enemy of humankind that would have you believe that you are some random evolutionary process, a descendant of slime and happenstance: And the devil is a liar! Behold, I will now share with you my earliest, early memory #1 ( in the womb):
One day, when I was 4 years old, I told my Mother how I enjoyed when I was inside of her, how I used to turn somersaults and swim around. She said,
“Really? And what else?” More tickled and amused than anything, I loved talking to my Mom because I knew how much she loved me and was fascinated by me. I continued: “But Mommy, you know there was one day when I was in your stomach and you were smoking and I almost died. But I don’t think you knew I was in there.”
Suddenly, without intent, I had caused blood vessels to form in my beloved Mother’s eyes, as hot tears began to stream down her face. She was a smoker then, as was popular at the time. But thank God young people are waking up now: No, it’s definitely not cool! But the painful part was, she continued smoking during her pregnancy, because it would be more than 5 months that she carried me,...