Chapter One
On January 22, 1954, I was born in Providence Hospital, the only issue from the union of Jonathan Melvin Ivy and Barbara Abrams.
My parents were the offspring of Black religious leaders. Jonathan’s father was Elder Berry B. Ivy, the administrative superintendent for the southern district of Missouri in the Church of God in Christ (COGIC). Flora, Jonathan’s mother, was a national missionary in that religious order. Barbara’s father was Deacon Clarence Johnson, Senior, who sat on the board of the Metropolitan Missionary Baptist Church and was the lead baritone in their choir. He was a democratic ward committeeman in the era of patronage politics in Chicago. Odessa, Barbara’s mother, was a schoolteacher who chose to be a stay-at-home parent.
Jonathan grew up in the small town of Charleston, located in the boot hill region of Missouri. He had five brothers and four sisters, however, three of the girls died of tuberculosis in their teen years. Thelma was the only surviving sister. John A. was the oldest and only sibling who fought in WWII. Jonathan and his siblings were coming of age during this era of war.
America was a segregated society at that time. Black people and Whites lived in racially segregated areas throughout the country. There were no civil rights for Black people. Black people were governed by Jim Crow laws, which originated in the south after the Reconstruction period. When WWII ended, the Black soldiers returned home from Europe and other theaters of battle and demanded better treatment here in the U.S. Those soldiers united with black labor unions, black church leaders, and black college student spokesmen to demand civil rights and desegregation. They were tired of separate and inferior accommodations in civil society. This movement began in the churches and Black colleges in the south. It spread across the country like wind-driven wildfire. Initially, the white media paid little attention to the protest. As the white backlash progressed in violence, the civil rights movement gained political momentum. It culminated with every news cycle focused on the Black movement. The question of “What to do with the Negro?” dominated Sunday morning talk shows. Thousands of Black people were killed or injured during those white riots throughout the south. Elder Berry decided to send his sons and only daughter to Chicago for their safety.
Barbara was a nineteen-year-old former high school homecoming queen who aspired to be a top model. She grew up in a tight-knit Baptist family of five sisters and four brothers in Chicago’s south side. Jonathan and Barbara met as next-door neighbors on the south side of Chicago. However, the differences in their socio-religious backgrounds created its own tensions. As a result of his strict Pentecostal upbringing, he was unaware of the complex cultural nuances of big city life. She was the product of that fast-paced city culture. As a result, he inadvertently made comments that others perceived as insensitive moral judgments; and there were the gaffes that eventually sabotaged their relationship.
Jonathan lacked his father’s ‘gift of gab,’ but he developed the ability to speak and write fluently in Spanish and French. It was a talent that landed him a middle-management position with a major corporation. (His brothers created the Ivy Construction Company. Their company flourished during the period of racial segregation. Ironically, after the passage of the 1964 Civil Rights Act that prompted integration, their company started losing business to white contractors.)
Barbara’s family was always involved with some type of group activity. She always invited Jonathan to their events. He attended but was very quiet and appeared preoccupied. Her brothers initiated the conversation and invited him to join them in various activities. He never socialized with them. They had never met a young black man who didn’t drink pop, dance, eat sweets, play cards, board games, or participate in any sports. They liked the fact that he did not drink, smoke, or do drugs. They wondered if he had something against their family. He was an introvert with nothing to say! However, Barbara often ignored his unintentional gaffes. But there’s always that “last Straw that broke the Camel’s back,” so to speak. He experienced it on a perfect Saturday evening at her father’s home.
Barbara’s father was not only known for being a spiffy dresser, but he also hosted great soirees at his home. Odessa greeted the guests as they arrived on that perfect Saturday evening. As a well-connected Chicago democratic ward committeeman, Clarence’s guest list included prominent clerics, politicians, and businessmen. Barbara and her sisters dressed up in beautiful cocktail dresses; and they received a lot of attention. Everyone was enjoying the lively event. Clarence did not smoke or drink himself but allowed guests to bring libations.
Barbara was having a fun time with people she had known since childhood. Jonathan did not know anyone outside of Barbara’s family. He sauntered near a small group of men who were drinking, trading locker-room banter and off-colored gossip. Strangely, he got upset even though none of their profane ramblings were directed at him in any way. Barbara noticed his change of mood and asked if there was something wrong. He mentioned the off-colored humor and wanted her to leave the party with him. When she refused, there was a loud argument that caught her father’s attention.
Clarence summoned them into a room and queried about the dispute. Jonathan complained about the small gathering of drunk men who spouted vulgarities. Clarence told him, “This is my home and those are my guests. You do not live here so feel free to leave at any time.” At that point, Barbara realized that she could not marry a man who was that socially brittle. She was in tears when they left the party. The next time he came to her apartment, she handed him the engagement ring and said… “Goodbye!” It was his last gaffe!
Jonathan was gone, but she was now pregnant. At her family meeting, Odessa suggested that she proceed with the wedding for the sake of her future child. Barbara wanted marriage and a family, but her feelings toward Jonathan had changed. “That thin line between love and hate.” She refused to reconsider marriage with him. There were only two options left: have a child out of wedlock with its social stigma or pay the high cost for an illegal abortion. The family tentatively agreed to pay for the abortion. However, that decision was only tentative. Their father made the final decision in all family matters.
Deacon Clarence Johnson Sr. thought that Jonathan was a young man with high morals and integrity but lacked secular nuances because of his strict Pentecostal upbringing. Clarence went out of his way to meet Jonathan’s parents at a COGIC convention held in Chicago. He reported that Elder Berry and Flora gave excellent speeches at the convention. Clarence was a church official with conservative values. He could not fathom giving the okay to abort his own grandchild because his daughter didn’t go through with a planned wedding. He announced the decision not to fund her abortion. Barbara felt betrayed and accused him and the family of reneging on their promise. The family consoled her with a pledge of unconditional love and support for the anticipated new addition to their family.
Barbara asked Jonathan for money to pay for her abortion, but he refused. He wanted her to forgive him and proceed with their wedding plans. However, her attitude towards him had become recalcitrant. “No! You will always be this pompous and socially rigid man. People are imperfect. If I thought marriage to you could result in joy and fulfillment, I would still be wearing your engagement ring.”
At birth, I weighed seven pounds and ten ounces, and Barbara named me after a movie icon of that era. Clarence performed my church baptism. Atty. Clifford and Bunny, his wife, were present at the ceremony. They were close friends with the Johnson family. After the ceremony, Bunny asked to be my babysitter, which gave Barbara a chance to resume her career. There was never an issue of trust because Bunny had known Barbara when she was a child. Bunny agreed to keep me during the day while Barbara worked. Sometimes, I stayed the whole weekend. They set aside a room in their home for my toys and built a playground in the backyard. Their next-door neighbor had three toddlers named Randy, Andy, and Sandy, whose parents brought them over every afternoon to play with me in the playground.
Clifford was a partner in an all-black Chicago law firm. Bunny was a well-educated socialite from a prominent Chicago family. Unfortunately, she had a medical condition that precluded the possibility of childbirth. Clifford and Bunny held conferences and other events at the home. I was always the topic of conversation during those events. Every year, they took me to the Kentucky Derby. Stuffed horses littered my toy room.
After church services, Bunny and Odessa took turns hosting dinner at each other’s home. That gave me a chance to bond with Gwen, Greta, Betty, and Gloria, my maternal aunts, as well as Clarence Jr., Douglas, Richard, and Russell, my uncles, and Clarence Sr. and Odessa, my maternal grandparents.
Bunny wanted to adopt me, but Barbara wouldn’t go that far: She allowed them to be my surrogates. Regardless of my legal status, the couple treated me like their child.
Jonathan financially supported Barbara and me...