One last death (eBook)

She adores them both, but will they agree to the special kind of relationship she wants?

L. H. Kuhrau (Autor)

L.H. K. (Herausgeber)

eBook Download: EPUB

2024 | 1. Auflage
300 Seiten
tredition (Verlag)
978-3-384-15657-0 (ISBN)

Infos

In the second book of the 'One last...' series, Lusie will try to figure out what love really means-and if it even is conected to erotica. Deen wants her, but will he accept sharing the girl of his dreams? Will the coming holidays bring them closer or separate them forever, as the choice is: being together forever or alone, their story forever unknown? What they shouldn't forget is the pharmacists; may they be able to hurt them across the borders too?

In her compelling books, she explores the profound impact of a challenging past while navigating the intricate narratives of those facing the formidable struggles of cancer, weaving a tapestry of resilience, hope, and the transformative power of literature and words. She has experienced sicknesses like cancer and different addictions with her own family and friends in a large way. 

Textauszug

Chapter 2

Lunchtime. Finally, it had been all too long alone time in Deen’s apartment. Even though they were already fighting against the pharmaceutical industry, we were still not saved. Unfortunately, no one told me anything about how long it would be like that or what the primary results of the first judicial enforcement were. It bothers me, not just that I don’t know it, but also that they don’t believe me enough or think that they protect me if I don’t know anything. However, it also has a good side; I trust Nathaniel, and when he doesn’t tell me something, it is because everything is alright or that he doesn’t want me to be afraid. Whatever it is, he would tell me everything if it would make me a saver, but I feel, after what I have seen, that every piece of information can also be a fresh, gutted graveside.

 

“Are you coming?” Deen asked as I was already on my way towards him. Every lunch we would eat somewhere. It wasn’t so important for him what it would be, but Nathaniel gave him a list of good places, which definitely were the best in town. I knew he did it for my reason, and I don’t want to imagine what he feels like giving these to his brother. It makes me feel like a monster in some way. I love Deen. I really do love him. On the other side, it isn’t the same with Nathaniel. “That is not about us, but about her,” their conclusion had been for some months. The choice was mine, and I chose to be with Deen. Why is it logical, not emotional? Nathaniel didn’t want me to stay. Something that Deen, of course, doesn’t know. However, in the moment Nathaniel pleased me to go, I first realised that my heart of love was as small as a mouse on an elephant—almost not viewable. People hope for, no, they long for love, but what they don’t say or know is that there is not just one type of love that exists. Now I don’t think about parents or friends love; I think about the typical relationship. In our society, there is often monogamy and the “allowance” of murder if one of them breaks it. Of course, not in law, but people say that, even if 99% wouldn’t do that, for some, the betrayal is so hard that they at least think about it.

So, what is love for me now? You may ask. Love in my primary me—a still 22-year-old girl who hasn't been a virgin anymore for about two weeks (Deen couldn’t handle to wait any longer)—is it the longing for being with that person? You want them to be fine; that.  is even more important than my own wellbeing right now. Additionally, the most important fact for me is still that you want to know and understand everything; learn after a while to read the person because you are so close. I have to stop now, or else I will start to cry at the thought that it doesn’t exist for him. Nathaniel. Even if I hope he lied, I know that he never lies to anyone. On the other side, am I just anybody to him? Do we lie to people we love more easily than strangers because we know that they will forgive us? Because I know that I will forgive him at once, whatever it is.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Deen asked as we drove for about ten minutes in the middle of the forest. “What is love for you?” I was curious about knowing others definitions. He laughed and looked at me. "You," he said, and I rolled my eyes. “That is not a definition; it is me, a person,” I said, and I looked out of the window. There, I saw a mother deer with her fawns. “It is a complex neurobiological phenomenon characterised by the release of neurotransmitters such as oxytocin and dopamine, influencing emotional states, attachment behaviour, and physiological responses, ultimately contributing to a deep sense of connection and well-being,” he said, and I laughed. “Alright, doctor, but what does it feel like?” I replied, and he took a deep breath. “Like butterflies in the stomach, or what do you mean?” he said as a classical subscription. “I thought of a definition of what you expect from it or what it makes you feel like.” I tried to explain, and he saw me and began his poem. “Then my soul finds its melody in the intertwining notes of affection, where the very rhythm of my being is harmonised with another's presence, a connection so vital that it becomes the breath that sustains me, a silent balm to the quiet storms within,” he said.

At once, I realised what it meant for me and his relationship with me, but I had to keep myself in silence for now. Additionally, I had to talk with Nathaniel about it as fast as possible. Because if I couldn't handle Deen in a "storm,” like he said, which is a mystery for me, then my own stability is not that of a tree either way. “Don’t you agree?” he asked me carefully, as I hadn’t replied for a while in shock. “It is your way to define it, but I don’t think that it is good for me to be your “sustaining breath,”” I said, making him silent at once.

“Deen?” I tried to get him to say anything after a while. His fists there flexed around the stirring all of the time, and his mood shifted as fast as never before. “You are going to leave me again. I can feel that.” He said that, and I wondered why he thought that way. It hadn’t caught my attention. I didn’t want to leave him. I wanted to be with him, but not “just” him. Even if I knew that it wouldn’t be possible, it was an inner wish of mine. Living without Nathaniel turned out to be harder than expected.

“Deen, please don’t think alike. How long have we known each other this way? Not even a month,” I said, and he turned towards me. “That’s it—for me, a second was enough to know that I wouldn’t touch another woman anymore, just you forever. Our first kiss was incredible,” he explained, and my eyes filled themselves with water. “I pushed you away,” I said, and he smiled weekly. “You did; you looked into my eyes and kissed me once more,” he said, and I thought about it but had to correct it. “That wasn’t the first kiss," and he laughed likely. “That was the first accepted kiss, so I take it as I want,” and so he pulled to the right, and before I could say a word, he turned towards me and kissed me in desire. As always, my mind changes with his actions, which makes me weaker. Immediately, I feel sorry for my thoughts and sayings and kiss him back. Even if it was neither want nor desire that led me to do that, love was in that moment also a medicine that worked out at once—Deen could be himself again, so he would smile full-time.

The bartender had already come, but I had just been staring at the menu for half an hour without going one step further. Some of them sounded delicious, but they could be very expensive, and I don’t want to order anything for the price of one or even two monthly incomes from me earlier. “What do you want?” Deen asked me as the bartender stood beside us, and he was finished with saying his choices. “I am unsure,” I said. “We need some more minutes, okay?” he explained to the bartender-girl, who smiled too kindly at Deen, even if I was sitting right in front of him, not to overlook. What I felt was nothing more than sorriness for her. Why did she flirt with men who were in relationships if her looks would allow her to flirt with many others? Was it a game? Something that she liked, or in general was really fun, that I hadn’t experienced?

“Would you please at least look at the menu?” Deen asked after I thought about her acting and the purpose of it. “You are not really jealous now, are you?” he asked, and at some point, it sounded like he wanted me to be it. “You there just talking to her; why shall I be?” I asked him, carefully trying not to sore him with the fact that I hadn’t such feelings at all. “Others would already think of her gestures as a reason, but however, what do you want?” he asked me again, and I looked at the menu once more. “What do you want to have?” I asked him, and he smiled, amused. “Maybe you will be in the bath in two minutes,” he said, and I rolled my eyes, not at all affected by his random saying. “I would take the stake, but my brother would surely take the lobster or something with seafood,” he said, challenging me. By the thought about Nathaniels food choice, I immediately got hungry. It had been the best meal I had ever eaten, but now I was with Deen, not him, so I would try his choices too.

“Don’t you have birthday soon?” Deen asked me, and I looked sceptically into his eyes. “Where do you know that from?” I asked, and he smirked and revealed, “My brother." I raised an eyebrow, wondering when I had said that or where he knew it from, but Deen continued, so I couldn’t find an answer to my thought. “Do you want to travel away with me, or what do you want?” he asked, and at once I hated to say what I wanted because I knew he wouldn’t like it. “Can’t we just don’t make a big thing out of it? Invite family, and so get over it.” I suggested, and his face fell. “Get over it? It's your birthday,” he said, and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, it is, but I had twenty-two birthdays before that and am hopefully going to have more,” I remarked, rolling my...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 3.2.2024
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur
• ISBN-10: 3-384-15657-9 / 3384156579
• ISBN-13: 978-3-384-15657-0 / 9783384156570